November 18, 2020
Lots of feeling like nope not ready for this. Don’t want to be on watch at any point. Nope. Earlier in the day. And well, all day. I think during my morning shift we ended up putting the third reef in the main and by the end of the day we had something like 4 or 5 reefs in the Genoa but those are harder to definitively track.
I hit my head and neck really good during this day.
During the 3-7 shift, that Brady kept, we ended up heaving-to and waiting for awhile on the weather to get better. We waited for about 3 hours until 8 or so before trying to continue on because we were floating towards Fisherman Settlement (in the Bahamas). Around 8 something I mentioned that I was feeling sick to my stomach. Not from the sea finally getting to me but because of the head pain and Captain sent me to bed because it had felt better earlier when I was laying down. So I was in bed until 12:35am when Brady woke me up. He asked me to come be on watch, while we were hove-to (again), so they could sleep. So I geared up and came out.
It was raining, storms all around, and the sea was nuts. It was scary but not so bad because we were hove-to. I didn’t have to make sure we were on corse and hand-steer fighting massive waves. Captain went to sleep at 1:35am. Brady laid on my lap for a bit but with the rain, spray, and wind he was getting soaked and cold. So he just got up and sat under the dodger, opposite me. I said he should go below to try and get some better sleep but he told me he was worried about me having a panic attack and him not being there to help me if I did.
Him saying that right there, that kindness, love, and care is what made me certain I wasn’t going to have one. Just knowing that he cared that much. When they come they come and that wouldn’t have actually done anything but that’s how I felt, in that moment. And we just sat there, hunkering out of the wind, spray, and rain. Rocking and rolling. Tensing our muscles to stay seated and waiting until morning and Captain to get up for his watch. I’m pretty sure this is the evening none of us had a real dinner.
